Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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