Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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