no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
