I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
