Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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