Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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