When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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