Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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