yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
