On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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