Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
