My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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