I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
They have beer where we have blood.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
