one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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