I think I died a long time ago.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
