I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
