so explain again why im purple
no
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
