I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
