I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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