i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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