I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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