I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
