yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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