you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dignity is for republicans.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
