bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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