Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
