I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
