We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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