Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
