OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
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