Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
