Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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