Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
