just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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