There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
