She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
