Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
