I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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