Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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