i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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