Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
