Small penises have feelings too.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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