you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize