About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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