i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
porn star boner night. come get it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
