Screwed.edu
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
