bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
