you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize