Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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