O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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