i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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