his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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