you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
