Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
