So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
