how can u be prego again
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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