he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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