ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
