I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
