I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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