Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
