C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
