If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
