Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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